Reclaiming Sex

Communicate openly.

That’s easier said than done, right?

Communication with another person is always inherently a challenge — not necessarily always a difficult one, but a challenge nonetheless — because you’re dealing with the intent of the communicator + the interpretation of the recipient. And we all have lenses through which we see (and hear) everything based on our own life experiences, socialization, and internal belief patterns. And we all see and are seen through specific lenses within the context of our relationships. So intent and interpretation can often be different, whether subtly different or wildly different.

And when we add the pressure of that communication being about sex? Oh, boy. All bets are off.

What’s shameful? What’s pleasurable? What’s okay? What’s fun?

What the hell is it even all about? Deep emotional/mental/spiritual connection? A quick fuck to get some feel-good hormones surging? Building intimacy within a relationship? Self-exploration and self-concept expansion? Trauma recovery? Willingness to be vulnerable?

These conversations are important to have with your partner(s) so everyone is on the same page. And to have those conversations, here are a couple of tips:
💖 Answer the above questions for yourself. Write them out. Excavate what’s beneath.*
💖 Schedule a time with your partner(s) to have an open conversation and fiercely protect that time.
💖 Decide ahead of time how you want to feel going into the conversation and put yourself into that emotional state on purpose.*
💖 Process the emotions that come up before and during the conversation so that you can stay present and focused on the goal of open communication.*
💖 Listen to your partner(s) and express your own truth.
💖 Schedule a follow-up if that seems useful and follow the same steps to prepare.

* Excavation, emotional processing, and choosing your emotional state on purpose is the work we do inside Project Reclamation. Join us and get the in-depth Personal Excavation self-study course, supportive community, and coaching from Master Certified Coaches to help you along the way. Reclaim your sexuality, your body, and every other part of you. For you.